He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
