At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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