I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
