Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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