okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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