I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
why is half of my head shaved?
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