Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
