okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
