Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize