Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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