SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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