: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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