yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
