I'd wear matching sweaters with you
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
