During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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