3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
