You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
