at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
