Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize