this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
