i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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