Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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