matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it hurts more in the daytime
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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