This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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