I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
