Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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