Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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