My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
