just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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