mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
