I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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