I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
