I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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