im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
