you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Drake has all the answers
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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