in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
