shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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