There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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