we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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