I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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