Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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