I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
