dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
