great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
