yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
