Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I need to sanitize my soul.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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