Cold hands, warm shart.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
