we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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