We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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