I hate your face
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
