I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
