i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Green mimosas i think yes
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
