You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
