ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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