You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
