Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
