is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
