SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
