p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
