Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
