Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
