omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
