Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
