This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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